What Tucson Taught Me
What Tucson Taught Me
(a list, first)
1
There are definitions of success and happiness that don’t involve career. The last time I was around people who didn’t focus on their careers was Fleming County. But their lack of career ambition was primarily born from a lack of education and ambition.
2
There are people who devote their lives to caring for their section of the environment. They’re not just using it as a liberal talking point.
3
Similarly, being outside is a way of life. From intentional hobbies like climbing, biking, trail running, skiing, and rafting to just dedicating most weekends to camping with friends: being in nature is a top priority for some people.
4
To a different degree, being in nature on a regular basis is important to me too. Asma deciding she was going on her first ever real hike with me because I’m a “mountain person” is a funny way of learning this about myself. But I’ll be more intentional about getting out.
5
When sacrificing career (and therefore money) for passions, you can make significant happiness gains. But it does come with some amount of unescapable financial stress. I’m very grateful for finding some of my life’s genuine passion within the context of a high paying career.
6
There are important life lessons to be learned that may be difficult or impossible to learn within the confines of career/tech oriented cultures.
7
I’m most comfortable being goal oriented, and I’m okay with that. I can enjoy a flow festival, but the highlight might be helping a random food vendor with a broken cart setup their tent. I’ve dedicated energy to exploring the boundaries here. I’ll leave Tucson less goal-oriented than I entered it, but I can’t and have no desire to abandon my ambitions entirely.
8
You get to choose your own taboos. My version of Tucson doesn’t have many. Sometimes when I travel I have to reel it back in and remember that not everyone is comfortable talking about everything. A particularly beneficial topic that’s taboo in too many communities is talking about your struggles and weaknesses. Tucson’s a very non-pretentious group, so they don’t feel the need to hide or mask their shortcomings. Instead they can talk about, and therefore work on, things with their community.
9
I’m not infinitely flexible. That should be obvious, but I hadn’t internalized it until recently. Certain aspects of Tucson’s culture are viable, not qualitatively or quantitatively worse than other ways of living, but not for me.
10
The interplay between confidence, relationships and independence is convoluted and cyclical. Hypo-independent people (not an archetype I’ve seen around Tucson much) are overly attached which eventually rots their relationships. Hyper-independent people refuse to sacrifice their desires to accommodate others. At least, thats one reason for hyper-independence. Another has something to do with the fear of getting hurt, of being disappointed and let down by other people. Oddly, it seems like independent people are often viewed as confident. They’re just off doing their own thing! But it takes true self confidence to say:
“I trust in you. I understand I’m taking a risk that my feelings may be damaged. But, I believe it will be worth the risk. And even more importantly, I trust in my own capabilities and robustness. I will recover if this interaction or relationship goes south.”
Tucson is full of independent people. It’s also full of love. Having loved and lost genuinely is the preferable route.
11
Tucson has let me glimpse the purpose of poetry. I used to be silent until I could express my emotions accurately and precisely. There are situations that call for vocalizing your emotions with the words you have on tap. Paint the picture of your soul; the painting will convey what you need to convey better than words trying to photograph your brain under a proverbial microscope.
This is a draft I wrote in Summer, 2025. I’m posting about it now because I don’t want it to get lost. Maybe another version will come later.